posted January 02, 2006 12:24 PM
The trees are down, the streamers have been thrown, and the fireworks have been fired (or worked?). Welcome to 2006 MOTL. And in 2006, the first thing to elapse is a tradition that’s stood four years running. Really, if you’d have told me 4 years ago that I’d still be doing this, I’d laugh and probably tell you that I’d be too busy driving my flying car and living on the moon. Yes, maybe I have watched one too many old timey Discovery Channel specials about the wonders of space. But that’s another topic for another time, because I’ve got some awards to hand out.
I know I say something akin to this every year, but it’s kind of a predictable result in a sense – there are a number of awards which I could’ve made up numbers for and appeased everyone, and some which I found to be quite surprising in tabulation. And, as with every year, there were a couple really close races in major awards, but I’ll cut the crap and get to some presentation.
This year they’re being presented much the same as every year, with a slight deviation. In past years, I’ve assigned a specific number of runner-ups which acts as a blanket for each category. This year, each award may have a varying number of presented runner-ups, based on how merited of mention a name is. And of course, each category has it’s “nominees”, a full list of those who attained votes in that category, but didn’t merit a runner-up status. They’re listed in ascending order, so the last nominee mentioned is the closest to a runner-up. If you see your name in the nominees spot and you particularly want to know what percentage of the vote you got, feel free to PM me and I’ll tell you your own personal results if you want.
One last thing before I start; this year saw another member vote for himself in every category (I’m almost sorry I mentioned it), and rather than type out his name in every nominees section, Just know that jott’s name belongs there. Somewhere. The Mimi Bobeck Award
This award belongs to the biggest forum troll of 2005. This year’s nominees were dorksied, iakae, p_amadeus, Kung_Fuscious, ML490, Pea...Tear…Griffin!, potm, JoshSherman, BoltBait, crazyturk, Billy Bones & Selvaxri.
The runner-up this year, with 15% of ballots bearing his name, is wrshp666. [Insert half witty remark about Satanism here]
Now, for the astute of you, it’s clear that we won’t have our first threepeat from the Mimi Bobeck, because the champion of 2 years running (crazyturk) only turned up as a nominee. So, with 27% of the vote, MOTL’s new sub-bridge dwelling champion is nderdog! After being a heavy favorite to win last year and losing a close race, nder will benefit from more of a split vote this year to take it down. Congratulations! (maybe?)
The Real Estate Award
This award, for the mod who does the most closing in posts, is MOTL’s test of banhammer strength. And, I doubt many will be surprised to hear that, as with most years, there is a clear cut metallurgist among us.
The sole nominee this year was BoltBait.
Your runner up, with 11% of folks believing him the heaviest, is nderdog. Quite a frequent name in these awards already.
However, I’ll keep my blurb on nder short so as to give true homage to the sheer volume of closing your winner does, as well as the sheer volume of votes he collected. With 81% of the vote (I’ll say it again this year, WOW), congratulations once again to Tha Gunslinga for commanding the respect of anyone he’s yet to ban. 
Keep up the good work in 2006!
The Wrong End of A Massive Pwnage Award
The first of the new awards instated this year, this award is, as the name implies, for the member who’s either about to get burned, or has just recently got burned good. It’s a little unfortunate this award wasn’t around for the ths_chess/PlasteredDragon event, but now we’re ready for the next one.
The nominees for this category were as follows; papajkippa, themike, jerry_player, Traitor, super32, Billy Bones, CommonSense, JoshSherman, the phoenix and wrshp666.
The pwner up this year, claiming 13% of the vote as his own, is Selvaxri. I don’t really know what else to say… so… SCHMERP!
And your winner (loser?) of this year’s W.E.O.A.M.P. Award, with 31% of votes, is p_amadeus. Maybe this is bolstered mostly by a couple of recent posts, but look out anyways in 2006, and prove us wrong.
The Captain N Award
Hopefully, you guys are as pleased to see this one back as I am, specifically because UBB games are a large part of what keeps me on MOTL, it’s the friendliest and most laid back way to have some non-offensive competition that I’ve seen to date. As Jaz can attest from playing some IRC mafia, playing some of these games elsewhere doesn’t always entail such a pleasant atmosphere. In any case, this award belongs to the prime UBB gamer on MOTL.
Anyways, the nominees in this category are: MeddlingMage, MagicMystic, Vampric Doctor, Liq & JoshSherman.
The co-runners up for Captain N, each claiming 13% of the vote, are nderdog & BoltBait. As will be seen in some more places throughout the awards, these two names continue to pop up in very similar spots in competition for these awards.
And, with 40% of votes bearing his name, congratulations to GottaLoveElves as the new Captain N of MOTL. I don’t know the kid personally, but I guess he’s alright at what he does. Thanks MOTL!
The MVP Award
Another new award up this year, this is for the sports know-it-all among us. I’ll note early that this category had somewhat of a low turnout, and coupled with a suggestion from nder, next year’s awards might see another blanks type award. But that’s a story for another day.
The nominees in this category were stu55, daner, JoshSherman, Speed Demon, nderdog and Greven53.
The first ever runner-up for MOTL’s MVP award is knightowl with 17% of the vote. Congratulations!
And, with 33%, props to MagicMystic for being the member-selected sports guru of MOTL. Well played, good sir, and may I ask; should I put $20 on the Colts for next week? 
The Proton Award
Back to the originals; this award is a recognition of positive contribution to MOTL from one of it’s many members, most of whom will never see these awards, nor will they put anything back. Alas, this is a small thank-you for those who do.
The nominees here are Jazaray, PlasteredDragon, hammr7, flaminio & GottaLoveElves.
4% up from a similar runner-up performance of last year is nderdog, with 23% of votes, good for the runner-up spot again this year. Keep at it!
And of course, knowing that nderdog finished well in a category, one can quickly guess who the winner might be – and they’d likely be right. With 35% of the vote, thank you to BoltBait for making MOTL a better place, and congratulations for being recognized for it.
The Big Bird Award
This award goes out to the friendliest member of MOTL. I honestly had a ballot wherein someone stated that they don’t get why this award could be taken out of context; so maybe it’s idiomatic – but let’s just say that when I won it, I displayed it proudly in my sig for the whole year.
The nominees this year are vampyresin, Kung_Fuscious, GottaLoveElves, cerberus, ronandaggy & nderdog.
With another co-runner up status, the Big Bird Award recognizes two members who only claimed 7% of the vote, that means a lot when it’s dominated by such a juggernaut winner. Case in point, props to BoltBait & Valmtg for making an impression on MOTL.
I spoke earlier about how the Mimi Bobeck Award had a chance to be the first threepeat in the awards, and about how that didn’t happen. The Homer Simpson & King of MOTL were similarly contested once, but also denied the threepeat winner. However, there is no question that, with 61% of the vote, that Jazaray has earned the first back to back to back defending championship of an award. Congrats Jaz, keep it up!
The Marlboro Award
Not quite for those with the smoker’s lung, The Marlboro Award is for the member who has the most memorable sig as recognized by other MOTLers.
The nominees for this category were vampyresin, potm, crazyturk, rockondon, flaminio, Ashran, Bentiko, NightDog, Tha Gunslinga, JoshSherman & Denizen.
With the scattered nature of votes for this award, I’ve neglected to declare a runner-up, but I’m still going to recognize two names. That’s right, it’s the first split award for 2005. With 14% of the vote each, congratulations to Greven53 & BoltBait for having sig’s which the members remembers.
The Judge Judy Award
The lazy part of me that doesn’t want to type is not enjoying all these new categories. This award belongs to the MOTL member who gives the best rulings for M:tG over in the MD forum.
The nominees here were wrshp666, nderdog, implode, WestWycke, GMontag & orcishartillery.
Another set of co-runners up present themselves in this award, and with 16% of the vote each, congratulations go out to Iabtu & coolio for their helpful understanding.
Natching only one more vote than his close competition, with 21%, the winner of The Judge Judy Award for 2005 is da-odd-templar. Congratulations & thanks go hand & hand on this one, and you deserve both da-odd.
The Trnothr Award
Hopefully the only memorially named award we’ll have in this MOTL grouping, this award is for the most electric member of the boards, who has very cemented viewpoints and is always arguing with somebody in an intelligent manner. This year, the Trnothr award was, pardon my French, a cluster****. Many MOTLers had many different beliefs and thoughts regarding who really was the most electrically intelligent member. After a little internal debate, I decided that I’ll list the nominees, and skip the runner-up category due to the fact that there are a half a dozen tied with one vote less than your winner.
Anyways, to stop my rambling, your nominees were flaminio, wrshp666, nderdog, rockondon, chaos021, Tha Gunslinga, potm, the phoenix, Vampric Doctor, CPTBOBIX & JoshSherman.
And, climbing out from that mass of electricity, with 14% of the vote, congratulations go to Goaswerfraiejen. You got my vote, and I think you deserve this award, so props on that. Props also to all the nominees, because this is a very prestigious recognition to have from another member, IMO.
The Radiance Award
This award belongs to the brightest MOTLer, who seems to know something about everything, and everything about some things. With neither of the highly respected Chucks around any more to pick this one up, we’ve got a new, surprisingly clear cut champion for this award.
The nominees were CPTBOBIX, PlasteredDragon, Mr. C, Preacher, hammr7, GottaLoveElves, inca911, potm, MagicMystic, nderdog & BoltBait.
The runner-up for Radiance this year, snatching 14% here also, congratulations to Goaswerfraiejen.
14% wasn’t good enough to win this one, however, so congratulations are in order to flaminio in winning his first MOTL Award ever, and well deserved – like in the last category for Goas, you had my vote. In total, you actually had 31% of the vote. Anyways, keep us informed in 2006, Bob!
The Homer Simpson Award
The hotseat award for MOTL’s funniest member. In the first couple years I did these awards, this one was probably the biggest giveaway, while The Real Estate Award was probably my favorite to watch because it was always so very close. How things change, eh? This one actually came down to the very last vote I tabulated, but this year, we have a clear cut winner.
The funninees this year were Kung_Fuscious, crazyturk, Iabtu, Token & Tha Gunslinga.
Your funner-up this year is one of the co-champions from last year – no surprises so far, eh? Well, with 37% of the vote, congratulations to Greven53 on still being regarded as a source of pleasant humor.
But, with 40% rockondon will take the throne for himself this year by just a single vote. Congratulations Don, rock on!
The Mike Bullard Award
Anyone else in favor of changing this to the Elvira Kurt award? Myself & Goas had a quick convo on #motl one night about how this woman ruins comedy. In any case, this award goes to the overall unfunniest member of MOTL, who just can’t get us to laugh.
The nominees here were Tha Gunslinga, Lord Titi, Selvaxri, implode, HanSolo6385, rockondon & NightDog.
Each of the following can be deemed a runner-up for netting 10% of the vote: nderdog, dorksied, wrshp666 & Pea…Tear…Griffin! Keep trying next year, guys. Or, don’t. MOTL will be fine either way.
Meanwhile, your winner, netting ¼ of the total votes submitted in this category is JoshSherman. The first step in solving a problem is admitting you have it, and with a self-vote, maybe Josh will show up in the Homer award sometime in the future. Then, maybe not.
The Chronicle Award
Named for the old depository where we kept tales of our dumbest, this award is for the dumbest banned member from MOTL in 2005.
I have to give props before I start the nominees; I had 2 ballots that were both to the effect of “That idiot who slammed slinga”, which I thought was pretty funny.
The nominees for this one were ForestTapElfGo, lil john, CommonSense, TaBlah555, Traitor, [expletivedeleted]Slinga’sMom & jerry_player.
Receiving 15% of the total vote, the runner up here was the former trading goliath, ertaij1. Interesting, I thought he went out in 2004, but either way, good riddance says MOTL.
However, with 40% of the total votes, is Danny Cheung. Whatever username you wanna give him, he certainly locked up his presence for the Chronicle Award by reminding us constantly who he was, and what he wanted to sell us. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out next time.
The Hit & Miss Award
The award designed for the members which we miss, this is essentially the opposite of the chronicle award – you don’t have to be banned to receive it, but we actually want these morons back.
The nominees for this award were as follows; SerraAngel, maddmatr, Banzi, Avatar of Might, Trnothr, SerraBanger, Trotters Traders, squizz, crazyturk & *Tedman*.
We have co-runner-ups once again to announce, and with 19% of the vote each, it’s a fair assumption to say that most of MOTL misses HanSolo6385 & Charles_Ensign. Hope you guys are doing great, whatever it is that you’re doing these days.
But, with 27% of votes bearing his name, I’m about to do something with this award that I never thought I would – crown a defending champion. MOTL still misses you Chuck (PlasteredDragon). 
I left a link to his blog in last year’s awards, and I stop by from time to time, and he seems to be doing great.
The _____ in The _____ Awards
Well, with an echoing sentiment this year of “The Pain In The Ass Awards”, I’m gonna try and keep this section short-ish. No promises, though.
The first blank deals with the person most likely to be MOTL’s next moderator.
The nominees for this blank were potm, Greven53, flaminio, da-odd-templar, Goaswerfraiejen, rockondon, paragondave, vampyresin, Billy Bones & Valmtg.
We have our second split decision of the year on this one:
T1) “And your newest mod for MOTL is GottaLoveElves!”
T1) “And your newest mod for MOTL is dputz!”
Well, thanks all. Thing is, the voters for dputz consisted of myself & 5 moderators, so I think I’m beginning to understand why this award has always been right.
The second blank deals with Magic skill, and who’s most likely to be next on the PT.
The nominees for this blank were La_Sin_Grail, Iabtu, AngryPheldagrif, Master, Mruthyu, iccarus, iakae, Tha Gunslinga & implode.
And some more co-runners up are to be seen here;
T2) “Wow, look, nderdog is playing on the Magic pro tour!” (11%)
T2) “Wow, look, wrshp666 is playing on the Magic pro tour!” (11%)
T2) “Wow, look, Vampric Doctor is playing on the Magic pro tour!” (11%)
1) “Wow, look, Iabtu is playing on the Magic pro tour!” (28%)
Pfft, come on guys, I even said be original and pick someone who hasn’t been on the PT. Ah well, congrats anyways Iabtu, you do deserve the recognition for your achievements.
The third blank deals with who on MOTL deserves their own TV show, and I usually slang this one as “most interesting MOTLer”.
The nominees here were Tha Gunslinga, ronandaggy, Magicman_rj, Shadow88, nderdog & BoltBait.
3) “Hey, Greven53 has his own TV show!” (18%)
2) “Hey, GottaLoveElves has his own TV show!” (23%)
1) “Hey, rockondon has his own TV show!” (27%)
Congrats Don; humor is what they wanna see! Well done!
The fourth blank deals with alcoholism, and who on MOTL is most vocal about their habits. Plus, the phrase is a novel reference, so it fits.
The nominees here were Trotters Traders, Kluckers, flaminio, Iabtu, vampyresin, potm, Shadow88, Kung_Fuscious & MagicMystic.
1) “Hello, I’m crazyturk and I’m an alcoholic.” (63%)
Runner-ups were nonexistent here, as the nominee either had a single vote, or was crazyturk himself. So, congrats… I think?
The fifth blank deals with who from MOTL is most likely to go on a shooting spree. As with every year; this category retains by far and large the highest percentage of self-voting.
The nominees for this blank were rockondon, nderdog, HanSolo6385, daner, Battle_of_Twits, Token, NightDog, crazyturk, the phoenix, BoltBait, p_amadeus, Bentiko & Nderwife.
T2) “Welcome back to Channel 6 news, I’m Kent Brockman. In local news, police have finally gunned down Greven53 from his murderous rampage.” (9%)
T2) “Welcome back to Channel 6 news, I’m Kent Brockman. In local news, police have finally gunned down wrshp666 from his murderous rampage.” (9%)
T2) “Welcome back to Channel 6 news, I’m Kent Brockman. In local news, police have finally gunned down Selvaxri from his murderous rampage.” (9%)
1) “Welcome back to Channel 6 news, I’m Kent Brockman. In local news, police have finally gunned down Tha Gunslinga from his murderous rampage.” (14%)
I know I reference this all too much in this post; but who needs murder when you have the banhammer? ‘Grats Slinga.
The sixth blank deals with the MOTL member believed to be the most likely to be banned.
The nominees here were Danny Cheung (clever), coolio, CommonSense, La_Sin_Grail, NightDog, daner, Hai Yo, Matthew 42383, Spiritmonger-Can & wrshp666.
T2) “OMGWTFLOLBBQ, NightDog just got bant good!” (14%)
T2) “OMGWTFLOLBBQ, Leshrac just got bant good!” (14%)
1) “OMGWTFLOLBBQ, p_amadeus just got bant good!” (28%)
…And that would be the massive pwnage that most MOTLers spoke of. Like I said earlier, prove us wrong. Meanwhile, it’s only a matter of time before BoltBait’s “ban Leshrac” movement prevails, and he wins the award.
Fingers hurt… Can’t go on…
The Kings/Queens of MOTL
Here’s the one guys. The plain ol’ popularity contest where we run for student council president of MOTL. Or something. The point is, this is the most simple, yet elaborate award, wherein the most popular members are voted on by their peers.
The nominees here were vampyresin, Nderwife, Mr. C, dputz, JoshSherman, Iabtu, Magicman_rj, Leshrac, ML490, HanSolo6385, SerraBanger, Vampric Doctor, Shadow88, crazyturk, Valmtg, NightDog, flaminio & Greven53.
The sixth runner up, 7th most popular MOTLer, and hopefully future bearer of my children is potm with 19% of the vote. Glad to see ya on the list again Dave, though unfortunately, you’ve been dethroned from last year.
The 6th most popular MOTLer according to the voters is someone who is clearly well liked, because MOTLers see him as Homer Simpson. That’s right, on a 26% share of votes, rockondon is your fifth runner up. Congrats once again!
The 5th most popular MOTLer is the only person who’s made this list every year besides potm, and the last non-moderator on this list – me, with 34%! Thanks again all!
The 4th most popular MOTLer may be more likely to shoot people than others, but he’s also more well liked than a lot of others. With 39%, congratulations again Gunslinga!
The 3rd most popular MOTLer is, predictably enough, the friendliest. With 42% of votes, congratulations Jazaray, as the only queen of MOTL!
The first runner up for this award knows this position well – he retains it from 2004, as well as his recognition for positive input. With 49% of votes, way to go BoltBait! Keep it up next year!
Now, with 68% of votes, there’s no need to fear, nderdog is here! For the first time, he surpasses BoltBait for an award, and what a one at that – the granddaddy of them all! Enjoy your reign nderdog, you’ve earned it!
Year 4, whuttt?
No really, I say it every year, and already did at least once in this post, but I still don’t believe I’m doing this stuff. This year saw some formalities, with Slinga continuing his absolute reign over Real Estate & Jazaray dominating all in the friendliness department. Surprises were still abound, however, as Goaswerfraiejen & flaminio stormed onto the scene in the wake of no Chuck’s, as well as nderdog finally crowning one over on BoltBait to capture the king of MOTL.
I’d like to, as always, thank the soon-to-be-banned Leshrac for making and paying for the site that we waste perfectly good time on, the mods for keeping the place as mature and friendly as possible, the members who are polite and kind to each other, the smart kids who allow intelligent conversation to exist here, everyone who donates or has donated to the MOTL stack (although, being a slacker, I still personally haven’t), and the whole 30,000 plus members just for being a part of a community that many of us like to call home.
My personal compliments and thanks also go out to BoltBait & nderdog for their immense help with suggestions and some of the original writing, Tha Gunslinga for offering to proofread the original post (which I forgot to send to him before I posted it, my bad), and also everyone who says something nice or encouraging to me every year when I take a couple hours here and there to organize this stuff.
So, with all that said, I wish you all the best in 2006, and I’ll see you all again the same time next year, God/Allah/Buddha/FSM willing!
__________________
MOTL's answer to Billy Crystal and Jeff Probst.
When I die, will they remember not
What I did, but what I haven't done?
My Blog
I think my doubt of the existence of a god is surpassed only by my contempt for him if he does exist.
[Edited 2 times, lastly by GottaLoveElves on January 02, 2006]
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posted January 02, 2006 12:24 PM
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