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Author Topic:   "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong." Murphy's Laws- Magic: The Gathering
Avatar of Might
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posted August 07, 2001 12:51 AM   Click Here to See the Profile for Avatar of Might Click Here to Email Avatar of Might Send a private message to Avatar of Might Click to send Avatar of Might an Instant MessageVisit Avatar of Might's Homepage  Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
You know the Drill. Imagine yourself at the Supermarket, standing in the checkout line. The line next to you will always be moving faster. Of course, you now want to move to the faster moving line. As soon as you switch lines, The previous line begins moving faster. Explanation? dont look for any mumbo jumbo statistical or probability laws. The explanation to the above situation can only be found only in the real, True-Life, Murphy's Laws, in this case the relevant laws to explain the situation above being:
quote:
-No matter which checkout line you get in, it will always be the slowest one.
-The longer you stand in line, the greater the likelihood that you are standing in the wrong line.

This inspired me to ask the following question: Do those laws, which are applicable in our every-day lives, have a place in Magic: the Gathering? I made a post recently in the Magic Discussion Forum, asking this exact question, and thanks to everyone who contributed and made this post possible (List at bottom). This will be the 1st official largest and most extensive Murphy's laws of MTG compilation and i hope it will guide everybody and help understand how things really happen in Magic: The Gathering. So forget your rulebooks. Forget Probabilities and Statistics. Forget Everything youve ever learned. Clear your minds. From now on theres only one set of Laws: Murphy's Laws.

CARD ACQUISITION

1) When Opening A Booster pack, you get a Crap Rare.

We all buy Booster packs hoping to pull good rares. According to the laws of probabilities: You have an equal chance of pulling all rares, since they are all distributed in the same quantity. But according to Murphy's Laws: You will always pull the crappy rares. Buy an Invasion pack and you will most certainly pull a Loafing Giant. Try Planeshift- and you'll pull a Goblin Game.

1.1) When opening a pack for a friend, there will be a Hot rare inside.

We've all gone through the frustration of a friend giving us a Booster pack to open for him. This is the only case in which you'll actually be pulling a good rare.

1.2) If you find a Rare Foil in your pack, its will always be a crappy rare Foil.

Finally! you see a shiny card in the location of the rare card. You pull it out and examine it, just to find out that its a foil Goblin Game.

2) You will always have just enough money to buy all but the last pack in the open box. The little kid behind you will always buy the last pack and pull the $30 foil rare from it.

He will also Show off and endlessly brag about it, Making you feel even worse.

3) The card you had your eye on the minute you walked in the comic store, will be taken by the person in front of you.

4) Whenever you buy booster packs needing some crappy rares to complete your set, you will get some other crappy rares instead.

5) The only Comics shop within a hundred miles is out of the one card you need.

5.1) The only Comics shop within TWO-hundred miles will go out of business.

TRADING

6) The Person who you are trading with is a ripper.

Thats right, you will always fall on the ripper and lose your cards.

6.1) A Reputable Trader with high references will always turn bad on your trade.

Playing it safe? Trading only with people with high references? Dont try to elude the system; A person may have 100 references, but his good trading habits stop the moment he is trading with you.

6.2) You will always accidentally delete email evidence proving that you have been ripped.

7) You will always get cards from the wrong set and in poor condition.

Arent you happy that you are finally trading for a Mint Foil Birds of Paradise? well dont pop the cork off the champagne just yet; When you receive the mail you anxiously tear open the envelope, only to find inside a Gold Bordered Birds of Paradise in Poor Condition.

8) When you finish a trade for some crappy card you desperateley needed, you will always pull that card in the next pack you buy.

GAMEPLAY

PRE-GAME

9) You will always lose the Flip/Roll determining who goes 1st.

10) You will Always Draw the Worst Possible Hand.

Naturally you'll want to mulligan, but...

10.1) If you choose to Mulligan/Paris, the hand you draw will be even worse than the original.

10.2)The first hand you draw that has really good creatures and spells...will have no lands. The second hand your draw will have the exact opposite.

MANA

11) When you're holding a Spell with mana cost X+1 in your hand, you only have X mana at most in the whole game.

12) You get mana screwed when your deck has 25 lands or more.

13) When playing a 3-color deck, you will always have on the table multiple lands of 2-colors and never the land of the last that you needed.

CARD DRAWING

14) How bad you need to draw a certain card is in direct proportion to how deep it is down the library.

14.1) The Card you need to draw right now is at the bottom of the library.

14.2) The Card you least need is at the top of the library and will be drawn next.

14.3) You will always draw the card you needed the momnet you dont need it anymore.

15) You will draw all four Terminates against a creatureless deck.

16) If you have 4 copies of a card in your deck, you never draw it. on the other hand, you always draw the cards that you have 1 of.

COUNTERING

17) Your Most important Spell will always be countered.

17.1) Your Decoy spell will not be countered.

17.2) you play something and they have a counter... you dont play it and they dont have a counter.

18) You're playing T1 and you get an opening hand with a first turn kill, your opponent is waiting with a Force of Will.

GAMEPLAY- OTHER

19) When discarding a card at random you will always discard your most important card.

20) You will always lose the game on the turn just before you could play that devastfateful spell that could win you that game.

21) When Casting a Tutor or another searching card, the card youare looking for will always be the top card on your library.

Meaning you'd have drawn it next anyway...

22) Your Urza's Rage will always be misdirected.

23) Your Blastoderm will always be wrathed the next turn after its played.

24) Spells you play will ultimately cause more harm to you than to your opponent.

Play an Armageddon- only to find out your opponent has plenty of lands in his hand, and you end up being the one to get mana screwed.

25) Your opponent will millstone you and there will be the card that you needed to stop the millstone.

26) you'll never win the game after you confidently tell your opponent the game's yours.

27) After you lose the game you find out that the one card that could have saved you and win you the game is on the top of your library.

TOURNAMENTS

28) A key card in all your decks will always be rotated out in the next tournament.

29) When playing a casual game your deck will always win.

29.1) When playing an Official Tournament game, your deck will always lose.

30) You'll never ever win a major tournament, or make top 8. You'll always get 9-16th in PTQs and regionals, and like 3rd in everything else.

31) When you meta-game against a certain deck, you'll never play against it, but play all the decks that are tuned against yours.

32) Your Opponent will always play the deck you most hate.

New laws may be added to this list so check often; Its all up to you, feel free to suggest your own Murphy's Laws, and if they are added your name will be proudly displayed in the list below.

All comments are welcome.

-Ron

__________________
-We had creative differences: i was creative and he was different
-When i say "Jump!", you say "How High?"

-If something can go wrong, it will go wrong, and always at the worst possible moment.
MY EBAY AUCTIONS

Undeadhq@yahoo.com
ICQ# 121503916



[Edited 13 times, lastly by Avatar of Might on November 29, 2001]

 
BoltBait
Moderator
posted August 07, 2001 01:08 AM   Click Here to See the Profile for BoltBait Click Here to Email BoltBait Send a private message to BoltBait Click to send BoltBait an Instant MessageVisit BoltBait's Homepage  Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
Oh my God! Those are all true!!!


Here is one to go into the Trading section...

Whenever you complete a difficult negotiation and have exchanged mailing addresses, you will realize that you have promised a card that you no longer own.


General...

The day after you spend $70 on a box of Magic cards your car will break down. The repair bill will be $70.


Another...

1.3) The day after you trade away your foil crap rare it will become the hottest card since Cursed Scroll.

__________________
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Read my book!


[Edited 5 times, lastly by BoltBait on August 07, 2001]

Poor Beggar
Banned
posted August 07, 2001 08:28 AM   Click Here to See the Profile for Poor Beggar Click Here to Email Poor Beggar Send a private message to Poor Beggar Click to send Poor Beggar an Instant MessageVisit Poor Beggar's Homepage  Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
Oh, don't rub in all the times I pulled Undermines from packs I bought for someone else.

As for real bad luck, I was playing Red Necro and my opponent was playing Bargain, I got him down to 2 life, I was at 5, he payed 1 life and drew a soul feast. The next card in my deck was the Shock I needed.

[Edited 1 times, lastly by Poor Beggar on August 07, 2001]

 
yeom
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posted August 07, 2001 09:15 AM   Click to send yeom an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
I love it , it's funny because it's all true .

My favourites are 1.1- I've opened great stuff in sealed tournaments, but the get swapped around and I end up with junk

6.2: I deleted all e-mails, and threw away my reciept for delivery in two different cases of me being ripped.

13- I always have two mountains and one wasteland on the board, and a ball lightning in hand


I've also found that when you play a solid deck that you had posted in the Deck Help forum for 2 weeks, the little kid playing burn will defeat you in the first round. Then in the next round his friend will defeat you playing a variant of the same deck, knocking you out of contention.

When you booster draft, the people beside you always take the same colors.


[Edited 1 times, lastly by yeom on August 07, 2001]

 
implode
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posted August 07, 2001 01:54 PM   Click Here to See the Profile for implode Click Here to Email implode Send a private message to implode Click to send implode an Instant MessageVisit implode's Homepage  Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote View implode's Have/Want ListView implode's Have/Want List
Well the last time i bought a pack to donate to prize pool it turned out too be a pern deed, and then I came in 2nd---ack!
 
weezerdog
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posted August 08, 2001 12:23 AM   Click Here to See the Profile for weezerdog Click Here to Email weezerdog Send a private message to weezerdog Click to send weezerdog an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
Lol. Man, that cracks me up. Murphey's law sure does suck...

-Jason

=w=

 
RPGfreak17
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posted August 08, 2001 05:42 AM   Click Here to See the Profile for RPGfreak17 Click Here to Email RPGfreak17 Send a private message to RPGfreak17 Click to send RPGfreak17 an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
ahhhh flashbacks! i know most of those all too well...especially the crap rares part. DOH!

Here's one:

When you buy a booster box, you get a playset of the worst rare in the set.

Or:

There are only two packs left in a box. You buy one of the packs, and pull a crap rare. The person behind you chooses the other, and it turns out to be a God Pack.

~RPGfreak17

__________________
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~Kefka, going ballistic

Since I signed up in late May 2001, #14 poster in Washington State, #8 in Refs!!

 
babygirlsam
Banned
posted August 08, 2001 12:12 PM   Click Here to See the Profile for babygirlsam Click Here to Email babygirlsam Send a private message to babygirlsam Click to send babygirlsam an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
How about this one.

You pull a god pack but you don't know it because you left it closed until you got home.
How is this bad? you ask.
A) You found out it was a god pack when your little brother opened it.

B) Your little brother opened it with your Paper shredder AKA his mouth!!!!!

C) You were in dire need of the cards he inevitably swallowed major parts of.

C'mon has this ever happened to you?

 
Skizkit
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posted August 08, 2001 07:07 PM   Click Here to See the Profile for Skizkit Click Here to Email Skizkit Send a private message to Skizkit Click to send Skizkit an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by babygirlsam:
How about this one.

You pull a god pack but you don't know it because you left it closed until you got home.
How is this bad? you ask.
A) You found out it was a god pack when your little brother opened it.

B) Your little brother opened it with your Paper shredder AKA his mouth!!!!!

C) You were in dire need of the cards he inevitably swallowed major parts of.

C'mon has this ever happened to you?



Lol...
You won't pull a god pack .

I would be satisfied with the remnants of a foil pack .. I wish I could pull a god pack. Anyway..just recapping...me and my friends split a box one day...WE PULLED ALLLLLLLLL CRAP! AHHHH! It was sooo frustrating. There were two boxes for sale, i said: "lets take the top one" they agreed We went through 36 packs..the best thing we got: Utopia Tree...It was crap. No Undermines Absorbs Rages Skizziks Voids blazing specters no Kavu Titan, not even a Tsabo's Decree
Of course we did get Urza's Filter, Planar Portal Loafing Giant Phyrexian Lens, Sunscape Master, Tectonic Instability, ETC, ETC....but what got me the most is that i was building a fires deck...and NOT ONE FIRES...it was mind boggling...anyway...so we go in the next day...all ****ed off, and complain about the box..and they open the other box cuz this kid was buyin 4 packs of invasion, he pulled: RAGE (AH!) Teferi's Moat, Obliterate, and Noble Panther, We got NONE of those....which brings me to my next point: BUY APOCALYPSE...it has about a billion more tradable rares...and theres only 43 rares in the set, in invasion, there's 110...about 30 or so of the apoc rares are tradable, too...but of course, when you buy apocalypse...

You will pull cetavolver or some other crap. I pulled a foil one, and a reg one..but of course, BrandonLyden (guy in bad trader's forum, has a 6 page long thread of complaints) ripped the foil one off me...

 
Molimo
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posted August 08, 2001 07:28 PM   Click Here to See the Profile for Molimo Click Here to Email Molimo Send a private message to Molimo Click to send Molimo an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
Here's another one-

At the Pre-Release for the newest set, you will always open what will become the hottest card Type 2 has ever seem. Unfortunatly (sp?) you will trade that card away on the same day.

This has happened to me TWICE!!! At Invasion, I opened a Urza's Rage, and after it was over I traded it for a couple of the Latin Raging Kavu. And then at Planeshift, I opened a Doomsday Specter (you have to remember that it was a hot card for the first month of Planeshift.), and traded it for some Kavu Titans. That sucked!!!!

__________________
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[Edited 1 times, lastly by Molimo on August 08, 2001]

 
TheLoneCalf
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posted August 08, 2001 11:52 PM   Click Here to See the Profile for TheLoneCalf Click Here to Email TheLoneCalf Send a private message to TheLoneCalf Click to send TheLoneCalf an Instant MessageVisit TheLoneCalf's Homepage  Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
LOL! the following have happened to me:

1) When Opening A Booster pack, you get a Crap Rare.

We all buy Booster packs hoping to pull good rares. According to the laws of probabilities: You have an equal chance of pulling all rares, since they are all distributed in the same quantity. But according to Murphy's Laws: You will always pull the crappy rares. Buy an Invasion pack and you will most certainly pull a Loafing Giant. Try Planeshift- and you'll pull a Goblin Game.

8) When you finish a trade for some crappy card you desperateley needed, you will always pull that card in the next pack you buy.

17) Your Most important Spell will always be countered.

17.1) Your Decoy spell will not be countered.


17.2) you play something and they have a counter... you dont play it and they dont have a counter.

21) When Casting a Tutor or another searching card, the card youare looking for will always be the top card on your library.

Meaning you'd have drawn it next anyway...

29) When playing a casual game your deck will always win.

29.1) When playing an Official Tournament game, your deck will always lose.

DIFERENCE OF OPINION!!!!!!!!!!!!

1.2) If you find a Rare Foil in your pack, its will always be a crappy rare Foil.

Finally! you see a shiny card in the location of the rare card. You pull it out and examine it, just to find out that its a foil Goblin Game.

this is simply not true. i play sealed deck all the time and there's only been once i didnt get at least an ok foil rare. the last time i went i got an ok foil rare from: 1 T-pack and 2 boosters, then i bought 4 more boosters and pulled a foil Crosis and a foil Suffocating Blast. Then again, i dont ever get foil rares unless i buy em, trade for em, got to sealed deck tournaments or buy a booster box so my luck only goes so far.

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SonOfYawgmoth
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posted August 09, 2001 12:17 AM   Click Here to See the Profile for SonOfYawgmoth Click Here to Email SonOfYawgmoth Send a private message to SonOfYawgmoth Click to send SonOfYawgmoth an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
This is one of the best posts I've seen in a long time!!!!

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ShivaSage
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posted August 09, 2001 12:59 PM   Click to send ShivaSage an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
Hey Avatar, if it was true that from every pack
you open, you get a crap rare, wouldn't noone in the world ever have a good rare? Unless it only happens to "you", as in "me", but anyone else reading this would also be the "you", so everyone is "you", but then again, the person that comes after you who gets the good rare, also has to follow this law, so he'd be the "you", so wouldn't he also get a crap rare?
 
ShivaSage
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posted August 09, 2001 01:01 PM   Click to send ShivaSage an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
Hey Avatar, if it was true that from every pack
you open, you get a crap rare, wouldn't noone in the world ever have a good rare? Unless it only happens to "you", as in "me", but anyone else reading this would also be the "you", so everyone is "you", but then again, the person that comes after you who gets the good rare, also has to follow this law, so he'd be the "you", so wouldn't he also get a crap rare?
 
ShivaSage
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posted August 09, 2001 01:02 PM   Click to send ShivaSage an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
Sorry for posting twice, mistake.
 
Tsunami
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posted August 09, 2001 09:30 PM   Click Here to See the Profile for Tsunami Click Here to Email Tsunami Send a private message to Tsunami Click to send Tsunami an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
I am not "me" or "you."

I am god. ^_^

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Witness the wave! ^_^

I collect Jackal Pups from both Tempest and the DCI foil Promo! If you have any, e-mail me!

 
HanSolo6385
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posted August 10, 2001 03:18 AM   Click Here to See the Profile for HanSolo6385 Send a private message to HanSolo6385 Click to send HanSolo6385 an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
The reasoning of this is so correct it blows my mind!

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weezerdog
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posted August 10, 2001 04:09 PM   Click Here to See the Profile for weezerdog Click Here to Email weezerdog Send a private message to weezerdog Click to send weezerdog an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by HanSolo6385:
The reasoning of this is so correct it blows my mind!


What mind?

-Jason

=w=

 
kingkyle3
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posted August 10, 2001 04:13 PM   Click Here to See the Profile for kingkyle3 Send a private message to kingkyle3 Click to send kingkyle3 an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by weezerdog:
What mind?

-Jason

=w=


LMAO!!!

Nice article! I think every single one of those has happened to me.

-DA king

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Avatar of Might
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posted August 10, 2001 04:32 PM   Click Here to See the Profile for Avatar of Might Click Here to Email Avatar of Might Send a private message to Avatar of Might Click to send Avatar of Might an Instant MessageVisit Avatar of Might's Homepage  Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
Good one Jason

Anyway i've been a fan of Murphy's laws for quite a while...

I'm sure some of the Magic Players are also into RPGs, and to those of you who are i recommend you read Murphy's laws on RPGs, I Personally really enjoyed that.

-Ron

__________________
-We had creative differences: i was creative and he was different
-When i say "Jump!", you say "How High?"

-Anything that can go wrong will go wrong at the worst possible moment.
-All generalizations are false
MY EBAY AUCTIONS

Undeadhq@yahoo.com
ICQ# 121503916

 
Child of KoRn
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posted August 10, 2001 07:32 PM   Click Here to See the Profile for Child of KoRn Click Here to Email Child of KoRn Send a private message to Child of KoRn Click to send Child of KoRn an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
well, how about this. i packed a foil absorb the first day invasion was out and i thought it sucked so i traded it for a skyshroud poacher and a rofellos.
 
weezerdog
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posted August 10, 2001 07:53 PM   Click Here to See the Profile for weezerdog Click Here to Email weezerdog Send a private message to weezerdog Click to send weezerdog an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Child of KoRn:
well, how about this. i packed a foil absorb the first day invasion was out and i thought it sucked so i traded it for a skyshroud poacher and a rofellos.

I'm sorry to hear that man. Very sorry.

-Jason

=w=

 
puregoblinboy47
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posted August 10, 2001 09:21 PM   Click Here to See the Profile for puregoblinboy47 Click Here to Email puregoblinboy47 Send a private message to puregoblinboy47 Click to send puregoblinboy47 an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Child of KoRn:
well, how about this. i packed a foil absorb the first day invasion was out and i thought it sucked so i traded it for a skyshroud poacher and a rofellos.

WoW me too

__________________
if a frog had wings it wouldnt bump its arse when it hopped.- Red Foreman-That 70s Show

I want as many last caresses as is out there, ill trade for them

i also want your leeches

 
RPGfreak17
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posted August 11, 2001 01:45 AM   Click Here to See the Profile for RPGfreak17 Click Here to Email RPGfreak17 Send a private message to RPGfreak17 Click to send RPGfreak17 an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
sup dudes. I just played in my first tourney today! and I was tied for 2ND PLACE!! (only out of 8, but it's still cool) My prize was 2 booster packs from APOC.

The card I got in the First pack was a FOIL Guided Passage. I said, "Well, i got a Foil rare, but not a very good one. It looks pretty, so i don't mind." Now, when i opened the SECOND pack, guess what i got...

a normal Guided Passage. *sighs*
what are the freakin' odds of that???
The curse of Murphy's Laws continues...

~RPGfreak17

__________________
I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE YOU!
~Kefka, going ballistic

Since I signed up in late May 2001, #14 poster in Washington State, #8 in Refs!!

 
yeom
Unregistered
posted August 11, 2001 10:18 AM   Click to send yeom an Instant Message Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by RPGfreak17:
a normal Guided Passage. *sighs*



Guided passage isn't horrible, I'm thinking of making a deck with guided passage and morphling.

 

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