posted August 07, 2001 12:51 AM
       
You know the Drill. Imagine yourself at the Supermarket, standing in the checkout line. The line next to you will always be moving faster. Of course, you now want to move to the faster moving line. As soon as you switch lines, The previous line begins moving faster. Explanation? dont look for any mumbo jumbo statistical or probability laws. The explanation to the above situation can only be found only in the real, True-Life, Murphy's Laws, in this case the relevant laws to explain the situation above being:
quote:
-No matter which checkout line you get in, it will always be the slowest one.
-The longer you stand in line, the greater the likelihood that you are standing in the wrong line.
This inspired me to ask the following question: Do those laws, which are applicable in our every-day lives, have a place in Magic: the Gathering? I made a post recently in the Magic Discussion Forum, asking this exact question, and thanks to everyone who contributed and made this post possible (List at bottom). This will be the 1st official largest and most extensive Murphy's laws of MTG compilation and i hope it will guide everybody and help understand how things really happen in Magic: The Gathering. So forget your rulebooks. Forget Probabilities and Statistics. Forget Everything youve ever learned. Clear your minds. From now on theres only one set of Laws: Murphy's Laws. CARD ACQUISITION 1) When Opening A Booster pack, you get a Crap Rare. We all buy Booster packs hoping to pull good rares. According to the laws of probabilities: You have an equal chance of pulling all rares, since they are all distributed in the same quantity. But according to Murphy's Laws: You will always pull the crappy rares. Buy an Invasion pack and you will most certainly pull a Loafing Giant. Try Planeshift- and you'll pull a Goblin Game. 1.1) When opening a pack for a friend, there will be a Hot rare inside. We've all gone through the frustration of a friend giving us a Booster pack to open for him. This is the only case in which you'll actually be pulling a good rare. 1.2) If you find a Rare Foil in your pack, its will always be a crappy rare Foil. Finally! you see a shiny card in the location of the rare card. You pull it out and examine it, just to find out that its a foil Goblin Game. 2) You will always have just enough money to buy all but the last pack in the open box. The little kid behind you will always buy the last pack and pull the $30 foil rare from it. He will also Show off and endlessly brag about it, Making you feel even worse. 3) The card you had your eye on the minute you walked in the comic store, will be taken by the person in front of you. 4) Whenever you buy booster packs needing some crappy rares to complete your set, you will get some other crappy rares instead. 5) The only Comics shop within a hundred miles is out of the one card you need. 5.1) The only Comics shop within TWO-hundred miles will go out of business. TRADING 6) The Person who you are trading with is a ripper. Thats right, you will always fall on the ripper and lose your cards. 6.1) A Reputable Trader with high references will always turn bad on your trade. Playing it safe? Trading only with people with high references? Dont try to elude the system; A person may have 100 references, but his good trading habits stop the moment he is trading with you. 6.2) You will always accidentally delete email evidence proving that you have been ripped. 7) You will always get cards from the wrong set and in poor condition. Arent you happy that you are finally trading for a Mint Foil Birds of Paradise? well dont pop the cork off the champagne just yet; When you receive the mail you anxiously tear open the envelope, only to find inside a Gold Bordered Birds of Paradise in Poor Condition. 8) When you finish a trade for some crappy card you desperateley needed, you will always pull that card in the next pack you buy. GAMEPLAY PRE-GAME 9) You will always lose the Flip/Roll determining who goes 1st. 10) You will Always Draw the Worst Possible Hand. Naturally you'll want to mulligan, but... 10.1) If you choose to Mulligan/Paris, the hand you draw will be even worse than the original. 10.2)The first hand you draw that has really good creatures and spells...will have no lands. The second hand your draw will have the exact opposite. MANA 11) When you're holding a Spell with mana cost X+1 in your hand, you only have X mana at most in the whole game. 12) You get mana screwed when your deck has 25 lands or more. 13) When playing a 3-color deck, you will always have on the table multiple lands of 2-colors and never the land of the last that you needed. CARD DRAWING 14) How bad you need to draw a certain card is in direct proportion to how deep it is down the library. 14.1) The Card you need to draw right now is at the bottom of the library. 14.2) The Card you least need is at the top of the library and will be drawn next. 14.3) You will always draw the card you needed the momnet you dont need it anymore. 15) You will draw all four Terminates against a creatureless deck. 16) If you have 4 copies of a card in your deck, you never draw it. on the other hand, you always draw the cards that you have 1 of. COUNTERING 17) Your Most important Spell will always be countered. 17.1) Your Decoy spell will not be countered.
17.2) you play something and they have a counter... you dont play it and they dont have a counter. 18) You're playing T1 and you get an opening hand with a first turn kill, your opponent is waiting with a Force of Will. GAMEPLAY- OTHER 19) When discarding a card at random you will always discard your most important card. 20) You will always lose the game on the turn just before you could play that devastfateful spell that could win you that game. 21) When Casting a Tutor or another searching card, the card youare looking for will always be the top card on your library. Meaning you'd have drawn it next anyway... 22) Your Urza's Rage will always be misdirected. 23) Your Blastoderm will always be wrathed the next turn after its played. 24) Spells you play will ultimately cause more harm to you than to your opponent. Play an Armageddon- only to find out your opponent has plenty of lands in his hand, and you end up being the one to get mana screwed. 25) Your opponent will millstone you and there will be the card that you needed to stop the millstone. 26) you'll never win the game after you confidently tell your opponent the game's yours. 27) After you lose the game you find out that the one card that could have saved you and win you the game is on the top of your library. TOURNAMENTS 28) A key card in all your decks will always be rotated out in the next tournament. 29) When playing a casual game your deck will always win. 29.1) When playing an Official Tournament game, your deck will always lose. 30) You'll never ever win a major tournament, or make top 8. You'll always get 9-16th in PTQs and regionals, and like 3rd in everything else. 31) When you meta-game against a certain deck, you'll never play against it, but play all the decks that are tuned against yours. 32) Your Opponent will always play the deck you most hate. New laws may be added to this list so check often; Its all up to you, feel free to suggest your own Murphy's Laws, and if they are added your name will be proudly displayed in the list below. All comments are welcome. -Ron __________________
-We had creative differences: i was creative and he was different
-When i say "Jump!", you say "How High?"
-If something can go wrong, it will go wrong, and always at the worst possible moment.
MY EBAY AUCTIONS
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[Edited 13 times, lastly by Avatar of Might on November 29, 2001]
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(only out of 8, but it's still cool) My prize was 2 booster packs from APOC.