“He is good,” muttered the mage “but he is not that good.” He closed his eyes and let his
mind be free of all surroundings. He fought to recall the teachings he learned throughout his life.
He lashed out with his mind, probing for the distant snow-capped mountains of the east. He began
to become one with the mountain. He began to draw upon the mountains very life force, drawing
upon it energy, the mountain’s very self. Feeling the power flow through him made him smile with
satisfaction. With sufficient energy he started a low muttering of words no mere mortal could
comprehend. It started out with a low droll but little by little it grew into a heart stopping chant
that struck fear into the heart of his lowly opponent. The chanting lasted for what seemed hours
but was only a few moments when suddenly it stopped. Silence, nothing but silence. The lowly
mage looked on with wonder and complete bewilderment. Nothing happened!!
The mage let out a hearty laugh. “You can’t even cast a spell right!”
“ How do you propose to defeat me, Crovax the Unclean!”
“ I will destroy you and claim my prize as the greatest mage in all of Dominaria!”

The other mage just stood there with no emotion on his face or hint of apprehenson. This
made Crovax even more bewildered. Just then Crovax noticed a sparkle, the tiniest showing of
light just hovering in mid air. Suddenly the light exploded into a rainbow of colors forming circle
of light hovering in mid air. Through the circle of light a something was coming. The light broke
and out stepped a creature. The creature was man size yet it was different. It was as if a bull had
learned to walk upright! It stood taller then Crovax and was carrying a deadly looking battle axe.
“Hurloon Minotaur”, said the mage “Attack!”.
The minotaur sprang with surprising speed and slashed a mean gash across Crovax’s chest.
“Ahhhhhhhhh!” Crovax screamed. But Crovax was not to be defeated just yet. Crovax set his
mind and probed for a the murky swamps of the south and focused on their power. He, like the
mage, started a chant, yet their something unsettling about this chant, almost as if it was evil in
creation. As Crovax screamed the spell a light, like before, appeared in thin air. This light
exploded to form a circle of dark light hovering in mid air.
“Now we will see what that minotaur is made of!” screamed Crovax.
An evil foreboding seemed to descend down upon the battlefield. A black apparition materialized
out of the circle of evil light. The apparition looked human with no noticeable differences. Yet the
mage knew this creature wasn’t something to laugh at.
“Sengir Vampire...”raged Crovax “I command you to destroy that puny minotaur.”
The mage calmly took in the size of the Vampire. Thinking quickly he tapped a nearby mountain
and thus drawing its very power into him. He muttered a phrase and stopped. Just then clouds
blackened out the sky and the Sengir Vampire stopped where it was. This creature was feeling a
new sensation. It was summoned to do evil to strike fear in its masters enemies, yet he felt fear!
He was scared of this mage and its dangerous clouds.
“Lightning Bolt!”screamed the mage.

Thunder crackled and the vampire screamed as a lightning bolt streamed down from the
thunderclouds and struck the creature. Pure lightning lanced through the vampires body, reducing
it to mere ashes. Then the mage said one more word...

“Attack”
Once more the minotaur advanced upon Crovax, Crovax was at a loss. For the first time in his life
he was being beaten, and by this mage! He could only watch as the axe cut a clean arc through the
air and a clean arc through his neck.

__________________
Vice-Admiral D17
*G.A.B. Amaranth Team*

T1 FOREVER!

Try not to be so repetitive. You use the same words over and over and over and over again . It hints at unoriginality. Also, Try to use active, descriptive verbs. I've tried writing satuff like this before, and it helps greatly to use verbs that allow the reader to enter the mind of the character. To Be is not such a verb. Descriptive verbs like "is" and it's cousins "are" and "were" do not mesh well with the idea of one's immersion into a subject. Instead use words dripping with description. I'll write a quick imaginative paragraph to express what I see as lush descriptive writing.

--He scanned his surroundings. No longer did the emerald valleys of his youth pervade his thoughts. Everything had changed, and as much as he yearned for the past, the future beckoned. He peered blindly towards the red horizon, and through the haze he seemed to visualize his future calling him. Fear gripped his teenage heart as he envisioned his adulthood approaching. He would survive and do great things. Not even the heavans could stand in his way now.--

That's how I see it. Just rework it and maybe we'll see your name in a library someday . It's all about your passion to write. Maybe I'm bad at it, but I dunno. Good luck!