posted November 27, 2001 08:43 PM
       
The articles forum. One of the least active forums on MOTL. I enjoy reading good articles, and I wouldve liked more people to write them. Over the last years I've been pondering: Why do so little articles get written? MOTL has over 20000 members, yet you only get an average of one new article per day. On a given day, you have a lot more chance of winning the lottery than of a new article getting posted.I've considered several reasons as to why people don't write articles: 1) The Inferiority complex: As you know, I myself occasionally write articles. One of the reasons I thought people don't write new articles is that there's really no point. My articles are so godly and heavenly, that any new article someone else posts would be pathetic compared to mine, and would immediately get ridiculed.
Upon going over my past articles I dismissed this reason. My articles aren't that good. Actually they are bad. I'm not sure they are even considered articles... They are not even paragraphs, not even sentences, but rather a bunch of words randomly put together. Why has nobody noticed that until now? Because come on, we all know that people don't really read the articles- MOTLers have been known to possess a really short attention span, and articles are long. 2) Location: The articles forum is located on the bottom of the main forums page, in between the suggestion forum and the Bad traders alert forum. Most people are able to happily go on with their lives, without knowing that the articles forum even exists.
Fact is, The world of MOTL, for most members, abruptly ends in the Haves/Wants forum. Some daring members scroll down a little, discovering the magic and general discussion forums, but thats about it.
On occasions, when members get ripped, they scroll down searching for the bad traders alert forum, in which case they have to pass through the articles forum. However in those cases the members are so outraged and frustrated of losing their cards, that unfortunately, in their grief, they fail to notice the articles forum.
I dismissed this reason too, because even I can see how ridiculous it is. 3) Time Consuming: Upon dismissing the above reasons, I was left with the only logical conclusion: Good Articles take time to write. In today's world, Time is money. Why waste precious time writing articles when there's no reward? Some would claim: To expand your writing skills, Develop your imagination, share your gift with others.
Problem is, Many people dont have writing skills or imagination. Plus you cant buy food or shelter with that kind of reward. The $1000 checks I receive from MOTL for each article I submit barely covers my rent, and forces me to actually go looking for a *gasp* job. And so I found the problem. The only thing left for me was to come up with a solution. I stayed awake, day and night, Until I came up with the Random Article Generator©. It's mission: To provide everyone with the tools to come up with good articles in no time. I am now offering to sell the rights to use it, for a bargain price of just $99.99!!! Features include:
- Easy to use!
- Revolutionary State-of-the-art Copy and Paste technology!
- No Imagination or previous Article writing experience required!
- No Thinking required!
- No knowledge whatsoever of Magic required!
- Requires only a Pair of Dice!! (Not included)
- Create over 61,832 different articles!
- Writing an article using this generator requires no more than a couple of minutes!
- Become the Envy of the MOTL community! Random Article Generator ©To use this generator, all you need is a pencil, paper, and a pair of dice. If you cant come up with those items it means that you are not very resourceful, and I would suggest you stay way from article writing (or from doing anything else for that matter). Instructions: Whenever it says to roll a die, do it, after which you should consult with the table, and copy/paste the result into your article. Can't be simpler than that. First you must determine what kind of article you would like to write. To do that, Roll a Die.
If you roll:
D1-2: What will be hot and what not in the new set.
D3-4: Tournament Report
D5-6: Rant-type-article Now go to the relevant section and proceed. What will be hot and what not in the new set. Weeks before the release date of a new set, the articles forum is flooded with articles, Analyzing the new cards, trying to predict which cards will be hot. Now, with the Random Article Generator, you have a chance to join in the fun! And since most articles till now have failed to accurately predict which cards would dominate the field, chance is that an analysis created with the Random Article Generator would predict more accurately than all other articles! And even if it's not accurate, once the new set comes out people wouldve already forgotten your nonsense! It's a Win-Win situation! All you need is the spoiler of the new set. For each card, Roll a die twice, First time for playability and second time for value, And then copy and paste the matching prediction provided in the following tables. Playability (Roll a die)
D1: This card is so powerful that it disturbs the balance of magic gameplay. I expect it to be banned very soon, mark my word!
D2: This card is Bah-Ro-Ken!
D3: The casting cost is a bit too high, but overall the card provides with many possibilities. I expect it to see play quite a lot.
D4: This card is completely useless. What was Wizards thinking?
D5: This card may not be the best, but it sure is fun to play.
D6: This card may or may not be good, depending on the metagame Value (Roll a die)
D1: This card is the next Undermine. You should invest in it while it is low.
D2: The foil Version of this card will be hot, but the normal version not
D3: The normal version of this card will be hot, but keep away from the foil version.
D4: You might as well use this card as a coaster.
D5: The cash value of this card wont be high, but it will have a high tradeability value
D6: This card will be hype for a while, but then drop in value. Sell it while you can! Tournament Report: Are you jealous of all those members attending tournaments and writing articles about it? Have you always wanted to write your own tournament report? Now is your chance, and with the Random Article Generator, you don't even have to attend a real tournament! Introduction (Roll A die)
D1: The sun rays slowly penetrated through my room window, until finally meeting my eyelids and waking me up. I knew the day has finally come- The day in which i participate in my first official tournament. I was overwhelmed with excitement As i got prepared for one of the most important day of my life.
D2: I have always loved reading tourney reports, so i decided to write one of my own and share it with you.
D3: I'd like to open this tourney report with the truth, and nothing but the truth. I attended the tourney only for fun. I knew I had no chance of winning, but rather I wanted to experience the tourney field in my flesh. As you shall see, my spirit greatly affected the events thereafter.
D4: I had a bad feeling about the upcoming tournament all along. I haven't prepared. I was never good at deckbuilding, and I wasn't sure if my new deck would win, especially considering the fact that the previous night I had lost with it to my little brother, who is 6 years old, and doesn't even know how to play magic!
D5: I had a good feeling about the upcoming tournament all along. I was going prepared, with a new deck. My deck had a perfect winning record, and I was going to the tourney hoping it wouldnt disappoint me this time as well.
D6: Roll Again Round One (Roll A die)
D1: Technical Draw. The 7 cards i drew at the beginning of the game were a disaster, so I mulliganned and drew 6 new cards. Those turned out to be even worse. I mulliganned again and again until I had just one card in my hand. I wasn't satisfied with that card, mulliganing again and drawing no cards at all. Upon requesting another mulligan, We suddenly became aware that I would now have to draw -1 card. I did not know how you can possibly draw a negative amount of cards. The judges went through their rulebooks but could not find a section on drawing a negative amount of cards either, and so they declared the game a draw.
D2: Technical Win. The rules don't limit the maximum deck size, and my opponent was trying out a 10,000 card deck. Unfortunately (For him) all his attempts at shuffling his deck failed miserably. He finally timed out, and I was given the win.
D3: Loss. My godly deck construction skills and instant decision making were with me. Problem is, Luck wasn't
D4: Loss. The rules say you can concede whenever you want. I had a very bad feeling about this game. I decided to concede before it even started.
D5: Loss. The rules say you can concede whenever you want. After I actually won the game, I decided, as a joke, to declare that I am conceding. Unfortunately my opponent had no sense of humor. He called the judge who ruled against me.
D6: Win. I "persuaded" my opponent to concede, using my high charisma, assertiveness, and a 100 Dollar bill. Round Two (Roll A die)
D1: Loss. Throughout the game, I drew nothing but land.
D2: Loss. Throughout the game, I drew no land at all.
D3: Loss. Unfortunately, My opponent was playing the only deck which could beat mine. I had no chance.
D4: Win. Fortunately, The deck my opponent played was the deck I had hoped he would play. It was like a dream come true. I couldve never asked for a more compatible deck to play against, and of course, I crushed him.
D5: Win. I played my broken combo deck. It worked like Clockwork.
D6: Technincal win. My opponent showed up 1 minute late. Quarter Finals (Roll A die)
D1: Win. I decided to try out that new Finkle card in my deck
D2: Loss. I gave the Traumatize/Echoes combo a shot, and got crushed by my opponent's <insert anything here> Deck
D3: Loss. I tried a Battle of wits deck. I got laughed at.
D4: Win. I Used Call of the Herd in my deck
D5: Loss. I finally got the mana to play an Urza's Rage with a kicker. Opponent had a Divert in his hand
D6: Technical Loss, Disqualification. Tried to play a card from my sleeve. I forgot that I was a lousy cheater. Semi Finals (Roll A die)
D1: Technical Loss. I was so excited I made it till here, that I forgot to show up to the match.
D2: Humiliating Loss. I was set up against the famous Avatar of Might from MOTL. He played so well, and crushed me. He is the best player I have ever seen.
D3: Loss. Despite playing better than anyone else in the whole tourney, I lost because <Insert any Excuse here>
D4: Loss. Well It's the spirit that counts, Isn't it?
D5: Technical Loss. My deck got stolen.
D6: Loss. I played against Mike Long/Budde/Finkel/<Insert any famous magic player you hate here>. I saw him cheat, but the judges took his word instead of mine. Summary
I ended up in <Roll 2 Die, one for each digit> XYth place. In conclusion, (Roll a die)
D1: I feel I couldve done better
D2: I gave it all I could. Luck was against me in this tournament
D3: While losing nearly all the matches, I learned a lot about Magic The Gathering and the world around me in general. It has been a fruitful experience that will stay in my heart for as long as I live Closing this Article, I would like to thank all people who supported me and helped me reach that position.
D4: The tourney was a total disaster. I have made an oath not to attend any more tournies for the rest of my life
D5: I Hope you liked this article, I look forward to writing more articles myself.
D6: I woke up, realizing the whole tourney never took place but in my dreams. I decided to write an article about it anyway. Rant-Type-Article Title: I don't think (Roll A die) Is such a good card. D1: Finkle
D2: Rage
D3: Call of the Herd
D4: Morphling
D5: Undermine
D6: Birds of Paradise Everybody claims <Insert card here> is a good card. I beg to differ. Even a baby who has never played magic, can realize that <Insert card here> is not so good because: (Roll A pair of dice 3 times, copy and paste the results) D1: It can be countered
D2: It can be destroyed
D3: It can be diverted
D4: It's not sure that you will draw it since you are allowed only 4 copies in your deck
D5: It can be lobotomized
D6: I hate that card and i just wanted to rant.
D7: It can be Undermined
D8: It can be Absorbed
D9: It can be flametongue Kavu'd
D10: It can be Raged
D11: It can be blocked
D12: It can be millstoned *Free Bonus* When you purchase the Random Article Generator, you get, for FREE, the Random Reply-To-Article Generator©. Ever wanted to reply to someone else's article without making a complete fool of yourself? Just roll a die, and copy and paste the result in your reply! Save time, you dont even have to read the whole article! D1: This isn't an Article. It's Barely a paragraph.
D2: Good Article! Keep up the good work
D3: This article sucks
D4: I agree with the first points you brought up, but I have to disagree with the final paragraph.
D5: What are you talking about? have you ever even tried really PLAYING Magic??
D6: Your Arguments are interesting, but one can find many flaws in them. __________________ Enjoyed this article? Also try:
Paradox 101
Phyrexia Vacation Guide
Murphy's Laws for Magic: the Gathering
MAGIC Tricks
Magic: the Conspiracy
Getting Ripped for the 1st time
__________________
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[Edited 16 times, lastly by Avatar of Might on November 29, 2001]
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